Dear Teacher: My ADHD Child Isn't Trying to Push Your Buttons

I see you.

You’re doing your best in a crowded classroom, with expectations coming from every direction, a packed schedule, and twenty-something little humans to manage. I don’t take that lightly.

But today, you sent a note home—another one.

And it started like this:

“Michaela was having trouble following directions AGAIN. Even with 1:1 support and all the extra resources available in the classroom, she still isn’t getting it. Has anything changed at home? Has her medication been adjusted recently?"

I know that note came from a place of concern—maybe even confusion. And I’m not upset that you’re asking questions. I appreciate that you care enough to check in.

But there’s something about those words—“still isn’t getting it”—that hits a nerve.

Because what you might be seeing as defiance or disinterest, I see as a little girl trying—really trying—in a world that wasn’t built for her brain.

And as for the medication… Don’t I always tell you when there’s been a change? If something had shifted, I’d be the first to let you know. Because I want to work with you. I want Michaela to feel supported by all the adults in her life. I want us to be on the same team.

ADHD Isn’t Defiance. It’s Dysregulation.

Kids like Michaela don’t wake up plotting how to throw your lesson plan off track. They wake up with busy brains, tangled thoughts, and more energy than their bodies can hold. They want to listen. They want to behave. They want to succeed. 

But ADHD doesn’t always let them.

Sometimes Michaela blurts out because if she doesn’t say the thought right away, it might vanish.

Sometimes she’s distracted because the buzz of the classroom lights is louder in her head than your voice.

Sometimes she’s fidgety because stillness doesn’t feel like calm—it feels like drowning.

None of this is on purpose. All of it is overwhelming.

You Seem Frustrated (So Is She)

This is where our “You Seem Frustrated” tee from Chaela’s Corner comes in.

Yes, it’s funny—but it’s also real.

It’s Michaela’s quiet way of acknowledging that sometimes, grown-ups expect kids to regulate their emotions… while visibly struggling to regulate their own.

Wearing that phrase isn’t about being snarky.

It’s about holding up a mirror—gently.

It’s about saying: “I see you. But I need you to see me, too.”

 View the “You Seem Frustrated” Tee in Chaela’s Corn

What I Wish More Teachers Knew

• ADHD is not a discipline issue. It’s neurological.
• Support > punishment. Movement breaks, visual schedules, and patience go further than behavior charts and time-outs.
• Connection comes before compliance. When Michaela feels safe, she’s more likely to participate.
• I’m not dismissing your feelings. You’re allowed to be overwhelmed—but so is she. Let’s give each other grace.

Advocacy Looks Like This

I created Chaela’s Corner because I didn’t want kids like Michaela to just get by—I wanted them to feel seen, celebrated, and supported.

Our products—like the “You Seem Frustrated” tee—are more than cute clothes. They’re tools. They’re conversation starters. They’re tiny, wearable reminders that neurodivergent kids don’t need to be “fixed”—they need to be understood.

If you’re a teacher reading this: thank you.

And if you’re a parent trying to advocate without alienating—I see you. You’re not alone.

Let’s Be Friendly AF Together

Friendly AF and Chaela’s Corner aren’t just about tees. They’re about truth, tenderness, and tools for navigating a neurotypical world with a neurodivergent brain.

If you’ve ever been told your child is “too much,” or if you’ve ever sat in a meeting trying to explain that they’re actually doing their best, this space is for you.

– Marian

Founder, Friendly AF + Chaela’s Corner